the best speech you will ever regret."
-- Ambrose Bierce.
How many of us has experienced of what is meant in the quote? To be honest, I am both the culprit and victim of this quote. Due to anger, I ever said hurtful things which resulted in a detrimental effect on my friendship. Hence, I put this quote here to act as a reminder not only to myself but also to those who are reading.
Anger is one of the biggest barrier that causes unhappiness and conflict among people be it in the professional platform, between friends and even family members. As mention in the lesson, most companies in Singapore have this hierarchy culture of superior and subordinates. When the superior is angry as he/she could not clinch a deal from the client, a small mistake made by the subordinate might cause the superior to explode instantly and cause a conflict between them. This is also viral as subsequent levels of employees below this subordinate will be affected, creating an unhappy working environment and also reduce productivity. Hence, I feel that controlling anger and not let it cloud our vision is the key to resolving conflict.
The willingness to take responsibility is also crucial in resolving interpersonal conflict. I recall that there was once a file containing important documents went missing in the company I was working with. I vividly remember one of my colleagues from another department borrowed from me and she has the habit of placing it below her desk after using it instead of putting it back to the original location. As the auditor was coming the next day, my boss told me to make sure all this documents are in place. So I did a search and found that one of the file went missing. I wanted to confront that colleague of mine but I did not have her number and it was late at night (I happen to work overtime). I went home and talk to my mum about the issue. Knowing my character of not being meticulous, she advice me to own up to my mistake as I might not have search thoroughly. So I took my mum's advice to admit my mistake to my boss that I did not handle the my task properly. True enough, I found that file in time and it was my fault for not checking thoroughly. If I had confronted my colleague the previous night, the consequence will be atrocious. Thus, it is very crucial to admit to our mistake instead of pushing the blame to avoid conflict.
Finally, I feel that to resolve conflicts is a challenge to a lot of people. To resolve conflicts, we have to know that everyone is not perfect and learn to compromise, communicate and accept these differences.
Anger is one of the biggest barrier that causes unhappiness and conflict among people be it in the professional platform, between friends and even family members. As mention in the lesson, most companies in Singapore have this hierarchy culture of superior and subordinates. When the superior is angry as he/she could not clinch a deal from the client, a small mistake made by the subordinate might cause the superior to explode instantly and cause a conflict between them. This is also viral as subsequent levels of employees below this subordinate will be affected, creating an unhappy working environment and also reduce productivity. Hence, I feel that controlling anger and not let it cloud our vision is the key to resolving conflict.
The willingness to take responsibility is also crucial in resolving interpersonal conflict. I recall that there was once a file containing important documents went missing in the company I was working with. I vividly remember one of my colleagues from another department borrowed from me and she has the habit of placing it below her desk after using it instead of putting it back to the original location. As the auditor was coming the next day, my boss told me to make sure all this documents are in place. So I did a search and found that one of the file went missing. I wanted to confront that colleague of mine but I did not have her number and it was late at night (I happen to work overtime). I went home and talk to my mum about the issue. Knowing my character of not being meticulous, she advice me to own up to my mistake as I might not have search thoroughly. So I took my mum's advice to admit my mistake to my boss that I did not handle the my task properly. True enough, I found that file in time and it was my fault for not checking thoroughly. If I had confronted my colleague the previous night, the consequence will be atrocious. Thus, it is very crucial to admit to our mistake instead of pushing the blame to avoid conflict.
Finally, I feel that to resolve conflicts is a challenge to a lot of people. To resolve conflicts, we have to know that everyone is not perfect and learn to compromise, communicate and accept these differences.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI agree with your opinions about anger and how it leads to many interpersonal conflicts. It was great that you were able to avoid that conflict with your colleague by listening to the advice of your mother. Many researchers have shown that when people are angry they tend to take the easiest obvious decisions that are usually wrong. Many people lose their ability to rationalise and analyse things properly and tend to make hasty decisions. Thus, by controlling anger and having a thought about whether our actions and decisions will result in conflict or unhappiness in anyone will help us prevent some interpersonal conflicts.
Dinesh
Hi Valerie! I think we all make the same mistake of being too quick to judge, especially when we are angry or frustrated. We can always calm ourselves down first and try to look inward to see if we are at any fault before taking any form of action.
ReplyDeleteLike the old Chinese saying goes, think thrice before you act. Sometimes, we may not have the time to think thrice but thinking it through one more time could easily prevent potential conflicts and foster a more harmonious relationship.